Gumshoe's Sister
by Mint-Cream-of-Ice
Summary: The Police Department and Prosecutor's office are having a dance, and Edgeworth is not interested in going. Without telling Edgeworth, Gumshoe invites his sister to be Edgeworth's date to the dance. Edgeworth refuses to go, but Franziska convinces him to. So, they end up sneaking around the dance trying to see what Gumshoe's sister looks like and if she's good enough for Edgeworth.


Author's Note: No copyright infringement intended. By the way, this is pretty much an Ace Attorney version of an episode of _Gomer Pyle U.S.M.C. _So, yeah. Enjoy! ^-^ Oh- And I apologize if they seem a little out of character. I tried. :-P

* * *

_To whom it may concern,_

_Tonight, the Los Angeles Police Department, and Prosecutor's Office will be having an anniversary party. We ask that if possible, you would please attend. The party will take place at the Gatewater Imperial Hotel in the Viola hall from 8:30 PM until 10:00 PM. It will include a buffet and a formal dance. (You may bring a date to the dance if desired.) Everything has already been paid for, and all we ask is for you to show up. Hope to see you there!_

_-Los Angeles Police Department_

Edgeworth crumbled up the notice and shoved it in his desk. When he opened the door to his office that morning, it had been sitting on the floor. (He could only assume that every other prosecutor in the building found the same thing had been slid under their door.) He had no interest in going to the party. He had gone twice in previous years, and found it had nothing appealing. Besides, he had better things to do.

Edgeworth went about his job as usual, and forgot about the notice to the anniversary party. Around noon, he got three phone calls back to back. Two were from different people asking if he thought Franziska would go to the dance with them. Not knowing either person, and not sure why they were asking him, he said "no" and hung up. (He had a little bit of pride knowing that not going to the dance meant he was not in the same crowd as the losers who called him.) The third phone call was from Detective Gumshoe.

"Hello?" Edgeworth answered the phone uninterested.

"_Mr. Edgeworth! It's Detective Gumshoe. Guess what? I have a surprise for you- wait, you _are _going to the dance tonight, right?" _Gumshoe asked excitedly.

"No," Edgeworth said with a roll of his eyes.

"_Right, so I- whoa, huh? I thought you were going!" Gumshoe said._

"Why would I?"

"_Uhh, well. Shoot, in that case, can you do me a favor?" _Gumshoe got a little more quiet.

"What?"

"_Well, uh, you see… I _assumed _you were going to the dance, and I also assumed you didn't have date, because you always seem lonely."_

"_What?! _Ugh, get on with it…" Edgeworth held his head in his hand knowing this wouldn't end well.

"_So, you see, I invited my sister to the dance, so she's flying in from her Kansas to come, and I told her that you would dance with her."_

"_What!? _Wh-wh- why the heck did you tell her _that?!"_ Edgeworth said _very_ loudly.

"_Uh, well, umm… I thought you _were _going and that you wouldn't have anyone to go with, so I was trying to do you a solid… Sir…"_

Edgeworth let out a deep, long sigh. After several seconds, he asked sharply "What is the favor?"

"_So, my sister is flying in all the way from Kansas, and she's going to come expecting you to be there and… I need you to go to the dance with my sister."_

"...No." Edgeworth said. He started to hang up the phone, but was interrupted by Gumshoe's pleads.

"_WAIT! Don't hang up the phone! Uhh, I'll… Please?"_

"No! Why don't you go with her? You're the one who invited her." Edgeworth asked.

"_Oh, I'm going with Maggey!"_ Gumshoe said. There was a certain egotistic ring to his voice.

"Well, I am _not _going to the dance with your sister!" Edgeworth said firmly.

"_Come on! You haven't even met her yet. You might really like her!"_

"What part of 'no' don't you understand?"

"_She's flying in all the way from Kansas!" _Gumshoe said desperately.

"..." Edgeworth was silent for a moment. "No." He finally said. And hung up. After he put the phone down, he picked up a pen and started to fill out some paperwork. There was a knock at his door. He wasn't sure if he could take anymore of this, but he still said "Come in."

The door opened revealing his adoptive sister who had a smug smile on her face. She entered his office and sat on his desk.

"I heard you yelling." She simply said.

Edgeworth sighed, slammed down his pen, put his fists under his chin and looked at her as if he was very interested in what she was saying.

"So- what?" He asked.

"You don't usually lose your cool," Franziska said. She continued to smile.

Edgeworth wasn't sure if he should tell her or not. He knew if he refused, she wouldn't leave, so he said, "It was Gumshoe."

"Ahhhh," Franziska said. "that explains a lot. What did he have to say?" Franziska asked. She kicked her legs back and forth.

"You know the dance tonight?" Edgeworth asked.

Franziska rolled her eyes. "Ugh," She said.

"Gumshoe assumed I was going, so he invited his sister to come from Kansas, because he thought I would go with her."

Franziska tried her best to keep a straight face, but couldn't. She started laughing, and fell off Edgeworth's desk. She rolled on the floor and laughed and then quickly stood up. "Wait!" She said as she shot up. Any sign she had been rolling on the floor a second ago was gone. Her sly smile returned to her lips. "What if she's _hot!" _She said.

"Perhaps you didn't hear me. She's _Gumshoe's sister!_" Edgeworth said.

"Exactly!" Franziska jumped back up on her brother's desk.

"Do you find Gumshoe especially attractive?" Edgeworth asked as he raised an eyebrow.

"No!" Franziska said with a scowl. "But think- a family should only be punished with one Dick Gumshoe. Since he is so… You know, that means his sister will probably be pretty."

"Even if she is, I don't care," Edgeworth said.

"She could be the next Sherrell Manzi..." Franziska said.

Edgeworth looked surprised, and then narrowed his eyes at her.

Franziska casually looked around his office, and then chuckled at her Edgeworth's disgust.

She then rolled her eyes and said, "I read your journal when we were in Germany, I know all about you and Sherrell Manzi." If Franziska was anyone else, Edgeworth's glare would have bored two holes in her head. "Don't act like you never had a love interest," Franziska said. Edgeworth sighed again.

"Dick Gumshoe's sister might be pretty," Franziska repeated.

"Franziska, Sherrell Manzi was _years _ago. I don't care about such things anymore." Edgeworth said. "Besides, she came from the same people who made Gumshoe, she'll probably be a spitting image."

"Miles Edgeworth," Franziska grabbed her brother's face and looked him right in the eye. "Do you want to grow old lonely and unloved? Is that _really_ what you want. I remember when we were little. I knew plenty of girls in our neighborhood who thought they were in love with my little brother. They said you were _very_ hot. Papa and I drove several of those annoying girls away."

"Wait- what?" Edgeworth asked. He wasn't aware of any girls coming to his house looking for him.

"How do you think I got so good using a whip?" Franziska let go of Edgeworth's head.

"If you have a point, I'm not seeing it." Edgeworth said.

"You could probably get a girlfriend if you wanted one, Miles Edgeworth. You should go to the dance with Gumshoe's sister. She might be pretty, and the you won't die a lonely loser!

Edgeworth looked at her like she was crazy. "Why do _you_ care?"

"I care about my little brother," She said. She was obviously lying through her teeth, but Edgeworth knew questioning her would get him no where.

"Why doesn't Dick Gumshoe just go with her, anyway?" Franziska asked.

"He's going with Maggey Byrde," Edgeworth replied.

Franziska shook her head. "I will never understand the generosity of some woman," She said.

Edgeworth was silent for a moment and thought about what Franziska had said. He smiled evilly. "When I first moved in with you and your father, did you think I was _very hot?"_

Not even a second after Edgeworth asked, Franziska had already punched him hard in the eye. She jumped off the desk and started marching for the door when Edgeworth said, "Wait!" She turned around and glared at him. "If I dance with Gumshoe's sister, you have to dance with Gumshoe, okay?"

Franziska closed her eyes as if she was thinking very, very hard. She stood in the doorway for a while like that. She then opened her eyes, and said, "We'll see." before slamming the door behind her as she left the room.

Edgeworth rubbed the eye Franziska punched, and he picked up the phone and called Gumshoe.

"_Hello?" _Gumshoe answered. He sounded very disappointed.

"Gumshoe, it's me, Edgeworth. In light of… Recent events, I _might_ come the the dance, and I _might _dance with your sister."

"_Really?" _Gumshoe asked happily.

Edgeworth considered saying "no" and hanging up, but instead said "I'm not sure yet, so it's not a for sure I'll come, but I _might._"

"_That's fine! Thank you, Mr. Edgeworth!" _Gumshoe said.

"One other thing. Franziska might come too, and I think she might want to dance with you."

"_Wow, really? Yeah, I'll dance with her a little! I'm sure Maggey will be fine with that."_

Edgeworth grinned. "Okay, maybe see you tonight."

"_Yup!"_

"Bye."

"_Goodbye, Mr. Edgeworth!"_

Edgeworth hung up the phone again and spun around in his chair. He looked back at his desk and all the work he still had to do. He guiltily pushed it a side and started making a strategy for the dance that night.

That night around eight twenty, Edgeworth drove to Franziska's house and knocked on her front door. She opened it and looked at Edgeworth's confused.

"What are _you_ doing here?" She asked.

"I'm giving you a ride to the dance. What do you think?" Edgeworth asked.

"Oh, I didn't know you were going," Franziska said. She closed the door behind her and stood by Edgeworth on the front steps.

"...You're ready to go?" Edgeworth asked awkwardly.

"Miles Edgeworth, I have as little interest in this party as you do. I'm not going to put on my best outfit for you and Scruffy. It's not like you dressed up exceptionally well yourself." It was true, they both were still wearing the clothes they wore to work.

They both walked to Edgeworth's sports car and got in. "Are you sure you want to go?" Franziska asked. Edgeworth shrugged. "Okay then," Franziska said. Edgeworth started the car and they started driving.

"Tell me, Miles Edgeworth. Have you ever danced with a girl before?" Franziska asked.

"I never cared to," Edgeworth said. "Have you ever danced with a man before?"

Franziska shook her head. "...So what are you going to do if Scruffy has an ugly sister?"

"I thought about that. I called Gumshoe and said I _might _be coming. So we can be somewhere where he can't see us, but we can see if him and his sister, and if she is like him, we leave, and tell Gumshoe the next day that we couldn't make it."

"And if not?"

"Then I introduce myself and you dance with Dick." Franziska gritted her teeth, and they continued to drive to the party.

When they were a couple blocks away, Franziska said, "Scruffy will know we're here because he'll see your car."

"Let's just hide it…" Edgeworth said. They parked it in a graffiti covered alley two blocks away from the dance. They got out, and walked the rest of the way.

There were lots of people gathered outside the hotel, so Edgeworth and Franziska kept an eye out for Gumshoe. They didn't see him outside, so they cautiously made their way into the hotel, and into Viola Hall.

"_Edgeworth!" _Edgeworth jumped a little when he heard a nasal voice calling his name. He turned around and saw Winston Payne, probably one of the most annoying men he ever came to know. "I didn't think you two would come tonight," Winston commented.

"I didn't think we would either," Franziska mumbled.

Winston wagged a finger at Edgeworth. "Edgey! You know you can't bring you sister as your date to the dance. That's _cheating_!"

Edgeworth wasn't in the mood to up with this now, so he said, "If you'll excuse us." He grabbed Franziska's arm and pulled her away.

"Where should we hide?" Franziska asked.

Edgeworth looked around and said, "There." He pointed to the stage at the end of the room which had its curtains closed. There were a ton of people in the room, and it was harder to look out for Gumshoe, but they made it to the stage without seeing him.

"Okay, climb up," Edgeworth said. Franziska put her hands on the edge of the stage and tried to pull herself up, but failed. Edgeworth locked his fingers together and bent down so Franziska could stand on his hand. She put a hand on his shoulder, stood on his hand, and climbed onto the stage. Edgeworth followed. They ducked behind the curtain, out of sight.

"Did you see him?" Franziska asked. Edgeworth shook his head, and they shared a sigh of relief.

"It's been years since we've done something like this," Franziska said.

"Like what?" Edgeworth asked.

"Sneaking around, you know. When we were younger we always had some kind of scheme. This is kind of fun!" Franziska beamed.

"Maybe a little," Edgeworth said with a smile.

"I'll keep an eye out for Dick Gumshoe and his sister!" Franziska pulled the curtain up the littlest bit, laid on the floor, and peeked under it.

"Do you see them?" Edgeworth asked.

"No… Wait- yes! They just came in." Franziska said.

"Well? What does she look like?" Edgeworth asked.

"She doesn't look bad! She's average, kind of pretty."

"Really?" Edgeworth got on the floor of the stage next to Franziska and looked under the curtain with her. "Where?" He asked.

"By the door, you fool!" Franziska said.

"...Franziska," Edgeworth said,

"Yeah?"

"That's his date, Maggey Byrde." Edgeworth said.

"Oh, right…" Edgeworth lightly waked Franziska on her head. "_Ouch!"_ She said and rubbed it. "Gosh!" She muttered.

They sat on the stage for several more minutes and watched Gumshoe.

"Maybe she's not coming…" Franziska said.

"Maybe…" Edgeworth agreed.

"Hold it!" Franziska said in her courtroom voice. "I think I see her!" She started laughing. "Check _her_ out!"

Edgeworth once again got down next to Franziska and looked. They saw Gumshoe and and Maggey dancing happily together, and a woman about twenty wearing a flour sack dress run up the Gumshoe and tap him on the shoulder. He looked at her and smiled big. They hugged and Maggey and her shook hands. There was one word to describe the girl: Ugly.

"No way!" Edgeworth said sitting up. "What did I tell you? She looks just like her brother!"

"So are you leaving?" Franziska asked. When she didn't get a response, she turned to see Edgeworth run off backstage, and leave.

"Hello, Ms. Von Karma!" Franziska stuck her head back under the certain and came out with her nose not even an inch away from Gumshoe's. Gumshoe stepped back. "Is Mr. Edgeworth here?" He asked. He had Maggey on his left, and his sister on his right.

"No, I don't know if he's coming. He got really busy with… Work." Franziska said.

"Aww…" Gumshoe said sadly. "I really wanted him to meet Roxanne." Gumshoe said motioning to his sister.

"So this is your sister, right?" Franziska asked.

Gumshoe chuckled. "Oh no! This is Roxanne. She was one of my friend's growing up."

"Oh?" Franziska said surprised… "Excuse me for one moment." Franziska went back behind the curtain and started running after where she thought she saw Edgeworth go. She couldn't find him. She ran all around the hotel calling, "Miles Edgeworth!" He wasn't anywhere in the hotel, she ran outside and looked around. No Edgeworth. She jogged back to the car, to find it sitting there, but her brother was no where in sight.

Franziska sighed and went back to Viola Hall. She had been running around looking for Edgeworth for a good ten minutes, and she wasn't sure where Gumshoe was now. She sat down at one of the tables and put her head down.

She then felt someone grab her ankle. She kicked off the hand and lifted up the table clothes and saw Edgeworth sitting under there. He put a finger to his lips.

"That wasn't Scruffy's sister!" Franziska said.

"Huh?" Edgeworth asked.

"That wasn't his sister. That was his old friend Roxanne."

"Oh…" Edgeworth said. "Well now I want to know what his sister really looks like! Is she pretty or is she ugly?"

Franziska shrugged and put the tablecloth back down. "I'll kick you if I see Gumshoe and his sister," She said. She sat there for not too long, before she kicked Edgeworth. He peeked his head out from under the tablecloth.

They watched as another girl came in and greeted Gumshoe. Gumshoe looked around as if he was looking for someone, and then called Officer Meekins over. Meekins extended his arm, and the woman took it. They walked to an open area and started to dance.

"Well?" Franziska asked.

"Why is she dancing with him of all people?" Edgeworth asked.

"Maybe because you couldn't come to the party?" Franziska suggested. "Is she pretty though?" Franziska asked.

Edgeworth nodded quickly.

"Then go get her!" Franziska said. Edgeworth crawled out from under the table, stood up and brushed himself off.

"I will!" He said. He glanced over at Gumshoe making sure he was occupied, and then loudly called over Meekins.

"Y-y-yes, Mr. Edgeworth?" Officer Meekins said trembling.

"What are you doing with that girl?" Edgeworth asked.

"Oh, well, I was- uh- dancing with her!"

"Well you can't dance with her, Gumshoe said I could dance with his sister, and I promised him I would. Do you think she flew all the way from Kansas to dance with you?"

"Uhh, you must have some mistake. That isn't Gumshoe's sister," Meekins said.

"Of course she is!" Edgeworth said.

"No, sir. That's my girlfriend , Martha."

"You're _girlfriend?!" _Edgeworth asked surprised. Franziska laughed and punched her brother in the back.

"Y-yes, sir. Isn't she a babe?" Meekins looked longingly at his girlfriend and Edgeworth momentarily did too, and then shook his head.

"Go dance with your girlfriend," He said. Meekins nodded with a smile and ran back to his girl.

"Smooth," Franziska said. Edgeworth sat down next to her.

"This is ridiculous!" Edgeworth said. "Where the heck is Gumshoe's sister.

"I think that's her," Franziska pointed to the entrance to Viola Hall, as yet another woman entered. Gumshoe excitedly ran up to greet her. "Hmm?" Franziska said.

Edgeworth's eyes were huge. He usually didn't pay much mind to how girls looked, but that was the point of tonight. He watched her with his mouth slightly open. "She is beautiful…" Edgeworth said.

"Like I said! A family can only have one Dick Gumshoe. Everyone else has to be good looking."

"Come with me, Franziska," Edgeworth stood up and together they walked across the room and approached Gumshoe.

"Mr. Edgeworth!" He said happily. "I'm so glad you could make it. Edgeworth smiled politely.

"You said your sister was flying in from Kansas, and I couldn't let her down. This is your sister, then?" Edgeworth asked looking at the girl who just walked in.

"No, this is Dana. My sister's best friend."

"How do you do?" Dana extended a hand to Edgeworth. He shook it sadly.

"So where _is_ your sister?" Edgeworth asked.

"Ohh, Lesley should be here any minute," Gumshoe said. He looked out the door to see if she was coming. She wasn't.

"I think her plane arrived late," Dana said.

"Oh, maybe we can dance while we wait?" Edgeworth suggested. Dana smiled and Edgeworth gave her his arm,

"Wait- here she is!" Gumshoe said.

"Dick!" A girl ran into Gumshoe and hugged him before Edgeworth had a chance to see her face. Franziska elbowed Edgeworth who waited nervously.

"Lesley," Gumshoe said. "This is Mr. Edgeworth! The one who'll dance with you." Lesley turned and studied Edgeworth. Edgeworth's eyes bulged. She was indeed uglier than the first girl. She was short, stocky, and had long stringy brown hair. Her eyes were small and spread too far apart, she had a big forehead, a large, round nose, and a square chin underneath her very thin lips.

"Hello," Lesley extended her hand which Edgeworth shook. Her hand was sweaty and warm and her voice resembled Winston Payne.

"So would you like to dance now?" Lesley asked.

Edgeworth decided to be polite. "Of course," he said. Lesley hugged him and then held Edgeworth's hand, and put her other hand on his shoulder. "And I believe Franziska was going to dance with Gumshoe," Edgeworth said.

"Oh, right!" Gumshoe held his hand out for Franziska.

"That would be great," Franziska said obviously being sarcastic. "But I twisted my ankle, so I think it's best if I just sat down."

"That's fine," Gumshoe said. Franziska smirked at Edgeworth and sat down on top of a table. Edgeworth glared at her.

"Dick?" Maggey said. "I have to use the bathroom. Maybe you could dance with Dana until I get back."

"Okay," Gumshoe and Dana said. Maggey smiled and excused herself. Gumshoe and Dana held hands and jumped around in circles. Lesley laid her head on Edgeworth's chest. Her hair was greasy and smelled like garlic. Roxanne watched everything with a smile. They danced for about three minutes.

"_Help!" _Edgeworth mouthed to Franziska. She rolled her eyes and pulled out her phone. She held it up to her ear and pretended to be talking on it.

"Hello?" She said. "Yes… He's here… Right now?… Okay… She you then…" Franziska stood up and said, "I'm sorry everybody, but I just got a phonecall. Edgeworth and I have an emergency at the Prosecutor's' Office, so we have to go right now."

"Aww," Edgeworth said pretending to be disappointed. "Sorry, Lesley. I have work to do."

"Shoot…" Dana said. "And I was just going to ask if we could switch." She looked at Edgeworth with big, puppy dog eyes which he could barely resist.

"Well, if you have work to do, you should go." Gumshoe said. Edgeworth's eye twitched. "Hey, thanks for coming anyway! Lesley had fun."

"Sure…" Edgeworth said. "Come on, Franziska." Franziska and Edgeworth exited the hotel together. When they got outside, Franziska started laughing again.

"You are the devil," Edgeworth said. "That was pretty low of you to slink out from dancing with Gumshoe."

"Hey, I did help you get out of there!" Franziska said.

"Yeah… Well now we know you were wrong, and if there's one ugly kid there's probably another," Edgeworth said. "By the way, how come in my office today, you really wanted me to dance with her"

Franziska grinned. "Gumshoe had told me before that his sister looks a lot like him. Ergo, I knew she would be ugly, and she was."

Edgeworth gave her a death look, and Franziska didn't say anything. She just happily walked with Edgeworth to the car.


End file.
